Saturday, May 30, 2015

Why We Aren't Homeschooling Next Year


Good morning!  This is a blog entry that I have thought about writing for some time now.  I get asked about this often and I know that for everyone who asks, there are others who wonder.  I have also been processing a lot of this myself and now that I have some time to sit down with it, I wanted to write this blog entry.

We have been a homeschooling family these past two years.  Our 2015-16 school year has just three days of academics remaining as I sit down to write this entry.  It has been a good year.  It has been a hard year.  I think that many can relate to that sentiment whenever it comes to raising kids!

Two years ago at this time, my daughter was just finishing up Kindergarten at our neighborhood school.  We had purchased our home specifically because we were planning to send the kids to Ridgefield.  One day in late winter, I began to think about homeschooling.  I mentioned the idea to my husband and he was surprisingly all for it!  And this is a guy who does not move quickly with new ideas - especially for those with which he has little point of reference!  THREE DAYS later, the news came out that our daughter's school would likely be closing, due to to financial woes brought on by mismanagement within our school district.  Hmm... so, we figured that if nothing else, homeschooling would be a back-up option.  As I explored it more, we became very excited about it and determined that no matter what happened with the district, we would go this route for 1st grade.  In the meantime, I worked hard with a group of neighbors to do all that we could to show the merit in keeping our very healthy neighborhood school.  It is not as though we live in a declining area!  But politics and closed-door deals are what they are and the neighbors really never had a chance of being heard -- hundreds of hours of research, brainstorming, practical action and all.

For the 2013-14 school year, our daughter was home with me for 1st grade.  Her brother went to preschool three mornings a week.  He attended the program at our nearby church.  Our daughter had been there for two years prior and he was entering his second year.  That year was a VERY GOOD YEAR and will always be dear to my heart.  We used curriculum from My Father's World and I loved it.  The year was simple and very special.  Each week we learned a new Proverb and how my daughter loved acting them out and creating songs and telling stories to illustrate them.  We both really spent time drawing close to God and to one another through the use of their 1st grade curriculum.  I would highly recommend it to anyone.  I very much liked their math and language arts especially.  It makes my heart ache a bit (or a lot) to know that chapter in our life is now behind us.  Our son enjoyed his three morning a week preschool program and we did light, hands-on work with him on the off days.       

As we planned the 2014-15 school year, we enrolled the kids in Classical Conversations, which is a homeschooling campus that meets one day per week.  I was to be a tutor there, working with my son's pre-K/K age group.  Classical Conversations was also our curriculum for everything beyond Math and Language Arts.  The content developed by CC is INCREDIBLE and I learned SO MUCH myself this year!  As did the kids.  And our daughter had a FABULOUS classroom experience there, as well as fun with older friends each week during the lunch time and free time.  After 5 weeks, it became apparent that it was just not going to work well for me to continue tutoring our son within his class.  It was a bad dynamic that was not good for anyone.  And let me just say that this was the most painful and self-doubting chapter that I have EVER had in my life as a mom.  It was ugly.  Some people came alongside me and were very helpful in the midst of it all.  We had learned in August that our daughter had some pretty significant visual tracking struggles and we had to launch into some INTENSE daily home therapy with her (1 hour+) a day plus weekly visits to OT and frequent visits to her vision doctor.  The crucible was September - December.  Through February, this was still a big part of our day.  Then the therapy exercises were reduced in exchange for more actual reading work where her progress with the principles was put to the test.  My daughter's 2nd grade academics took longer than my son's K work.  It took a bit longer to work on her CC projects as she was older than him.  This whole perceived equation of time left our son feeling shortchanged.  Going to a weekly classroom and then having to share me with that group of students pushed him over the edge.  He was so fragile at that point and just wanted to be heard.  He began acting out like never before.  Plus I began to undeniably see that he processed things differently than others.  The struggle there was heart-wrenching and even the memory of it has tears streaming down my cheeks as I type these words.  He was already seeing a Speech Therapist weekly for his enunciation work.  That was not a big deal.  When she gently mentioned doing some evaluation for his sensory processing challenges, I was not surprised.  So he did then begin with Occupational Therapy and we have all learned a lot and things are coming along.  I love him more than I can say, quirky ways and all.  He has my heart.  He is wild and tender and quite predictable with how he likes what he likes.  He is also a giver and his first thought is to share whatever it is that he has.  My daughter is intuitive, creative and thoughtful but also has the attitude of a firstborn daughter.  I can say that because I am one as well!

In addition to homeschooling these two this year, I have just completed year one of a three year commitment to serving as Team Leader of Women's Ministry at our fairly large church.  It has been an exciting year there and certainly added to my plate.  But the time invested was well spent and I look forward to all that is yet to come!

I also work my home business and my family relies upon this.  I am a health coach and lead others in making the same changes that have been so meaningful in my life as I have said good-bye to 50+ pounds and hello to many other things!  We eat clean and I do daily 30 minute home workouts.  I host FB-based accountability groups as well as leading and developing my team of coaches.  I tend to work my business for 30 minutes first thing in the morning, 5-10 minute pockets throughout the day and then focused time from 8:30 to 11:30ish each evening.  God has blessed my work and my business is quite successful and is on the verge of the next chapter on top if it all!  This is a very exciting time there!  Not to mention that more than 100 people have changed their health through my challenge groups this past year!!  Pretty neat!

Oh - and I have a husband.  He is my biggest fan.  He helps out around here.  He takes on different household projects that other men may not.  He cheers me on in my work and does not disparage any of it.  It is a tremendous blessing to have his support in all of this.  I do feel badly that I have not invested time with him as I should.  We have been going through this season and know that it will not last forever.  Thankfully, right now our kids are out of town at my parents' house for the weekend and that is soooooo nice!!  My husband is sleeping in because he loves that.  I was up at 5:30 because that is just how I am wired.  So I decided to sit down and write this entry.

A few months ago, I received a post card for an open house at our local Montessori Charter School.  I began to do some research and could see this as being a potential fit for our two kids!  Our creative daughter and kinetic-learner son would both benefit from this hands-on approach to learning.  I liked the 12:1 classroom ratio which is quite different from our local public schools.  I began to learn more about their learning philosophy and became excited at the potential for my kids to be a part of this!  It didn't take much thought to discern that although our son has done very well here at home with his K academics, were he to enroll in school, he really should enter as  K student rather than a 1st grader.  His birthday is close enough to those who have waited a year to start school.  It will be doing right by him to ease him into a K classroom rather than walking into the expectations of 1st grade world.  He is a busy kid.  His mind works just as hard as his body!  He gravitates towards playing with those younger than him.  He puts a ton of focus into projects and having a boost with some familiarity of the academics will allow him to direct his energy into modulating himself throughout the day.  I have to say that I am a bit anxious on how all of that is going to go!  Our daughter entered the lotto enrollment system at the school, as we hoped and prayed that Lord-willing, she would secure a spot for 3rd grade.  She did!!!!  She is so excited!  The social part of school is going to be soooo natural and enjoyable for her.  Academics may be another story.  All of those hard-earned months of progress made with vision therapy have still left her a bit behind grade-level on her reading.  But that tracking deficit had to be attacked and dealt with in order for her to really learn to read well.  I know that God will see us through this transition for both of the kids. And for myself!

So, why??  Why aren't we homeschooling next year???

Well, our daughter began asking this winter if she could go back to school for 3rd grade.  I was willing to prayerfully entertain the idea.  Our son would be happy to stay home forever.  But in my heart, I feel that he needs to learn to adapt to the structure of this world before he gets older and it becomes that much more difficult for him, given who God has created him to be.  For the sake of investing time in my marriage, I can not continue indefinitely to work most evenings, between my business and leading Alliance Women.  I have been stretched T-H-I-N this year, to say it optimistically.  God has sustained me.  Some key friends have really been there for me even when I could not be the best friend to them.  I have not done so well with "margins" this year.  It has been a worthwhile chapter although I will be relieved when it is complete.  

What am I concerned about as I picture making this change??  First, let me just say that it does pain me to see that the kids are gone for 7 hours a day at school.  It does seem to be LONG.  I imagine that I will learn to adapt to that??  It will be amazing to be able to get all of my own work done during the day and then really be present for everyone more often in the evenings.  I don't even know what that may be like?  How will my sparkly, sensitive, people-pleasing daughter do as she adjusts to 3rd grade dynamics and how people are in this world. I mean, this girl already asks the big picture questions about life on a REGULAR basis.  We talk about them together.  My mind is boggled as I contemplate what sort of questions this next year will bring???  And how will by son do, functioning all day outside of his current comfort zone?  My heart hurts at the thought but it has the potential to be very good for him.  And what about spiritually... here they will be headed out into the big world.  Am I really ready for choosing that?  Yes.  I feel that now is the time to venture into this new chapter.  I will be praying so much for them and their teachers and friends and their families. 

We are going to have the kids at school this year and will re-evaluate things next winter/spring.  Perhaps at that point we may even decide to return to homeschooling for the rest of their elementary years, at least?  Or perhaps they will continue on at Montessori and we will be fully settled into school world.  Who knows?  But it is time to step out of the boat and into the water and keep our eyes on Christ as we walk forward in faith that we are following Him in this decision for this time in our lives.  

I am excited about all that is to come.  I have lost myself a bit in the midst of this past year.  I juggle so many things during the waking moments of the day.  Taking the kids with me EVERYWHERE (minus my annual gynecological visit!) during the daytime of this year has been a stressful challenge at times and a delight at others.  It will be sooooo weird to be without them less than three months from now.  First I am going to really, really, really enjoy this summer.  I want all of us to look back on it as a highlight.  My biggest hope right now as a mom is that when they remember me and this time in our lives, that they will hear laughter in my voice, see a smile on my face and feel the warmth of my hands on their shoulders and feel the love of Christ overflowing from my heart into their own.




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