Coffee and Color - the backstory!

Good morning!  Welcome to my blog!  It is a beautiful April morning here in Erie, PA.  My name is Jeanette Paradis and perhaps like you, I wear a few different hats in life these days!  One of them is serving as the Team Leader for Women's Ministry at my church.  I really appreciate our church and love the people there and although my life is busy even apart from this role, I am thankful to be able to do it.  May will mark the completion of the first year of my three year term.  It has been a good year!  I am SO THANKFUL for my team and our ministry leaders.  There are seven women on our Alliance Women planning team who I work with regularly plus our staff pastor who oversees Adult Discipleship at our church.  I am thankful for the field leaders of our team - they lead our two daytime Bible study groups, two daytime groups for moms and a missions group.  We will be adding a crafting group which will make practical items to benefit those in need. Our Alliance Women team itself has stepped up and served as the leadership for the things that are new to us this year - our monthly Friday Night Cafe, an evening Bible study which began this month, plus a Mother Daughter Brunch coming up in two weeks.  The long-standing and much celebrated "Holiday Blessings" event takes place each November and some of our team headed up that large event while also putting together committees.  

So, why??  Why did I take on all of this when I already have "enough" (more than enough!?!) other things to do in my life?  Friendship is one of my most treasured things in life.  I LOVE seeing connections created amongst a group of women.  My relationship with Christ is so important to me and being able to share my faith and helping others to grow in theirs is of great value.  It grabs at my heart to think of women feeling lonely in relationships or empty in their faith/purpose in everyday experiences.  There is a verse that says "to whom much has been given, much is required."  I feel as though I have been given so much in these areas and it is natural to serve in ways that help in creating faith and friendship opportunities for others.  Life is tricky - especially when we try to go it alone!

Our Alliance Women team meets monthly and at our March 5th planning meeting we were talking about "what to do" for our April and May Friday Night Cafe.  One of the team had suggested doing a creative painting event like we have seen friends doing around town with the local "Cocktails and Color" which is so popular.  Since our Friday Night Cafe has a coffee theme and we meet at our church, we decided on "Coffee and Color".  I remembered a mom named Colleen Welka whom I knew from our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) days and how I have seen her on FB in connection with these events.  So I contacted her that night and asked if she could do this for us - perhaps in April or May on our monthly 3rd Friday get-together?  Thankfully Colleen was free for April 17th and we quickly put the wheels in motion to figure out logistics with the church (our usual meeting space recently got new carpet - should we really paint in there??) and also to begin announcing this and how it would all work.  One member of our team works on our graphic materials and she put together the image above.  

We were ready to go but how many would attend??  This type of event was a first for us!  The cost would be $25 per person, to cover the materials and time of the artist and two assistants from the artERIEbarn.  Registration and advance payment was necessary.  All said and done, we wound up with 34 women and I was very happy with that turnout!  Colleen and I have been working together along the way with the details and we met up at the church yesterday for her to begin the extensive set-up required to make this the wonderful success that it was!  We wound up doing everything down in the main hallway of the church foyer area.  The custodial staff set us up with drop cloths as an extra protection for the tile floors.  We used a total of 11 (8 foot) tables for our painters and supplies.  Colleen brought ALL of the supplies from the artERIEbarn. 

Friday Night Cafe takes place from 7-9 PM on the 3rd Friday of each month.  This event fit nicely into that space.  Our painters began close to 7 PM and guess what??  EVERYONE was there!  Wow!  That does not often happen when pre-planning an event with 34 people.  We grabbed some coffee and began our projects.  

I have to say that this was a very pampering experience!  Our two assistants were busy bees and kept moving around the space in order to constantly make sure that each of us had exactly what we needed.  Paula was our artist instructor and she is pictured above, next to the piece that she was painting as part of the demonstration for us.  Paula was absolutely wonderful with just the right tone, tips, encouragement and direction/inspiration for something like this!  Our Coffee and Color was the first time that the majority of us have ever done anything like this and it went VERY well for us!  I so enjoyed hearing the conversation and chatter around the room.

Looking at this photo, I see more than a bunch of happy women displaying their completed projects... this is the garden of life.  Each woman is beautiful in who she has been uniquely created to be.  When I look back on this first year of leading women's ministry, this photo will come to mind.  I am LOVING our 6 week Bible Study group that I am in the middle of leading right now.  When I look around that room at the tables of women, I will think of this photo as well.  We represent a variety of age brackets, backgrounds and everyday routines.  When I came into this role, my vision for this first year was to gather the women together - we had quite a few groups already but they were somewhat niche and I wanted to put on some events and do some new things that would bring together a variety of people.  That has happened through Friday Night Cafe and our evening Bible study group.  Sometimes when we are in the midst of all of the "doing", it is hard to step back and see the bigger picture of it all.  No matter where we are today and how our flower grows, the idea is to BLOOM!  Be you and do your best and soak up the sun, hold steady in the rain and make the most of today.  Open your heart to the Lord and His purposes in your life.  This is why I serve in women's ministry.

In the Middle?

On Sunday I was on a little road trip with my daughter.  We were headed out to Cleveland to hear a friend play her violin in a chamber orchestra.  The location is about 85 miles from our home in Erie.  On the way my daughter was watching Mary Poppins and I actually had some quiet time to just think.  How often does that happen during the day when you have two young children with you the majority of the time?  Anyways, I was reflecting on the past few years of my life and this next chapter that has just begun.  I knew that later in the evening I would be meeting with a team of women who have led the Women's Ministry at our church these past few years.  As of ten days ago, I am the new leader of this team.  

As the miles passed I thought back to my junior year internship in NYC.  My college class was involved with all sorts of experiences around the city.  This was during the autumn of 1999.  We were also taking a couple of classes during our two months spent at NYSUM.

One of our instructors challenged us to ask three questions of ourselves as we entered a new situation...  Who am I?  What am I doing here? What do I have to impart?  Big questions!  Especially now as I am walking into an area where I will be surrounded by many who are older and wiser than me!  :)  Lesson #1 was learned Sunday night, actually!  More on that in a minute.

While driving across I-90 on Sunday, I was thinking of a song that came out just after I graduated from high school.  I'll never forget the first time that I heard it!  I was living down in MD and was working at my first "real job" that was 4+ hours from home.  "One Headlight" by the Wallflowers was released to radio and I was hooked!  I was intrigued so much by the melody and lyrics the first time I heard it that I completely missed my exit on a route that I had been traveling for months!  This "classic" crossed my mind while driving on Sunday and I had to look it up (using talk to text!) on YouTube.  The same part jumped out at me all over again.  "There's got to be something better than in the middle..."  Yes!  THIS is part of what is in my heart as I take on my new leadership role.   

While gathered around a table with five other women Sunday night, I began to talk about an "old song" that I had not heard in years and how it is a classic but they may not have heard it in awhile.  I went on to share how this song came out back when I graduated from high school.  OH BOY!  Oops!  I did get one high-five from a fellow class of 96'er.  The other ladies had a few groans mixed with laughter and mention of "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog" as more of a "classic old song".  :)  Lesson learned!  No more "classic old song" references when talking about less than 20 years ago!   Especially when I am one of the younger individuals present.  Life is funny with how things cycle.  I will "graduate" out of my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group this month as my youngest child is nearly school-age.  My friends and I who began MOPS together awhile ago are now finding ourselves as the "older" moms in that group! 

But seriously, I have been thinking often of the direction to take in the days ahead.  There's got to be "something better than in the middle", right?  So many days we can get bogged down with the ordinary and forget to lift our eyes to the things of significance which are unfolding all around us if only we can see them.  

Hebrews 10:23-24 says, ^"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,"  These objectives are close to my heart as I picture the months ahead.  I can't wait to dig in and really connect while building a community of women who are ready to move beyond the everyday and take on a deeper life together.  It is going to be good!  Stay tuned for more details.  We'll get started this summer with monthly get-togethers and other connections in between those larger gatherings.  This community of women will not be made up specifically of those who attend First Alliance Church.  We will not be age-specific or limited to any particular demographic.  Being a woman is the only requirement to participate. :)  I am looking forward to getting together with LOTS of my Erie friends.  Old and new.  Of course my own house is not big enough to host everyone so we will use a space at church instead! 

A really good song came on during our brief drive to preschool yesterday.  I LOVED hearing the kids sing it along with me!  Great one to really turn up the music and move beyond the middle ground that tends to bog us down way too easily... "All I Can Do" 

I hope that your day if off to a great start.  It is a sunny morning in Erie and that is always a bonus!  We'll talk soon! 

Enough?

There is something that has been weighing on me. You know when you are filled with anticipation but also somewhat freaked out by something that you have just agreed to do?  That is where I am right now.  I have accepted the nomination for the role of "Alliance Women's President" at our church in Erie, PA.  Check out our website and welcome video!  On Thursday night we will have a congregational meeting where it all becomes official. I truly enjoy working with women.  I find great fulfillment in creating connections and maintaining an environment that promotes growth in each of our lives. So it is not a stretch to see why I have been asked to consider this role.  Had I been requested for singing a solo or coaching basketball, well, that would be shocking to me!  This is not like that.  I deeply enjoyed the years that I spent as Coordinator of our incredible MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group and that coupled with other life experiences does make this next step appear to be a logical progression.  

With a large church (800+) and the fact that I would be taking on this new role with a 3 year term and as the successor of one amazing woman who I consider a mentor... It is easy to have moments of feeling overwhelmed where I wonder if I will be enough for all that this chapter will require?!?  Existing programs will continue as I become acclimated with their leadership, operations and needs.  Plus I am super excited about something NEW that I am hoping to get going by mid-summer!  Stay tuned for details on that one, local friends!  It will be a once-a-month evening thing that will be not limited to any specific age/demographic of women (ie., "Mothers of Preschoolers").  I am picturing so many faces of friends right now and can hardly wait to get everyone back in a place where we can readily share our lives with one another.  But back to my big question... will I be enough?

This thought can cause me to freeze in fear or I can choose to focus on one of the Bible verses that has been an encouragement to me over the years.  2 Corinthians 12:9 talks about how God's grace is enough for us and how His power is best displayed in the midst of our own weakness.  

I also think of Psalm 121 which says,  

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore."

We just made a day trip down to Elk County to spend Easter with my family. It is about 2.5 hours each way but definitely worth it!  I love my family so much!  They have so much to do with who I am and I couldn't be more appreciative of them.  As we were getting ready to leave, my Dad asked me if I wanted to check out his new guitar and the foot drum that he had made?  Sure!!!!  My Dad is such a neat guy.  A favorite part of my childhood (and beyond!) is hearing my Dad play worship songs as he sings along on his guitar. The sun was getting lower in the sky and as I looked out the window, I could see my daughter up in the hayfield sitting under her favorite tree.  Incidentally, that was MY favorite tree when I was younger.  Dad begin to play this song Enough (Chris Tomlin) and immediately I knew that these words and this melody will be what I cling to when the highs and lows of this new role push me beyond what I have ever done before.

Last year a speaker at our MOPS group had stated, "What God provides is enough."  This simple truth really resonated within me and oftentimes is the perspective boost that I need.  Last June, I was sitting at the bedside of my husband's Grandmother during her final days here on earth. I was reading to her from the Bible. As I turned to the very familiar Psalm 23, I heard in my mind the way that I had memorized it as a little girl, "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not be in want."  But as I read the words of more contemporary version displayed in front of me, I began to silently sob and could not speak: "The Lord is my Shepherd; I have all that I need".  What God provides is enough is the truth that washed over me in that moment as I tried to contemplate our lives here without Sean's Gram, obvious as it was that she was quickly fading and I cried grateful tears that we had made it to CT in time to say good-bye.

A friend had messaged me the other day and included a really beautiful reading.  I looked it up to see if I could find the source to credit in order to share with you here?  This is what I found:

"At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough." 

She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye." 

He then began to sob and walked away.

[ Original story by Bob Perks, in Chicken Soup For the Grieving Soul ]

Final thought this evening on the topic of "enough"... A college professor of mine used to say, "When what you want is not what you need, you will never have enough."  What is it that we are doing/exploring in order to find ourselves enough in this life?  For me, I have to keep going back to our Good Shepherd and remind myself that HE is enough. As I prepare for Thursday and stepping into all that my new responsibilities will involve, I think of Dad's guitar song listed above as well as this old favorite which has been a mainstay in my life!  This one would have to be in my own top 5 favorite songs of all time!  If I Stand (Jars of Clay)